me and my baby

I got to buy a lot of gifts for everyone. But something extra special for my little princess, diamonds. This would be my gift to you. I really don't fancy those but this will signify the strength of my love for you, the hardship for being a new mom & the authenticity of your soul. You are my unique rarest stone, you are my diamond.

Jian intentionally makes faces when I ask her to look at the camera. She is in the "Why Mommy" phase & repeatedly asks me to show her the pictures on the DSLR LCD. My girl is a grown up lady. She fixes her hair, changes her smile & asks me if the pictures are OK! Sometimes I run out of breath as she makes weird faces or moves like super man. So I end up with out of focus or monkey face photos.
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48/365 SPRING WATER

We stayed 4 days at a village called Kampung Rasa. The water came from a near by hill. It was so fresh & the taste was so different. The smell of the rain in the air made me go nuts. I will never forget those little houses made of half wood & half stones. Every house had a garden with a swing where people sat at the evening & drank tea. I couldn't resist taking billions of pictures of flowers & leaves. The nature & I bonded in a mysterious way. We could hear the trains go while doing the dishes in the kitchen & children playing in the gardens. I will always carry the sweet memories of Jian & this little Rasa in my heart!

It's not fair. You always take your daddy's side. You let him eat from your plate, have a sip from your cups. But you never let me do any of that. I am really mad! He does nothing & you gave him your heart. I feed you, bath you. You can't even sleep without touching & pinching my cheeks. This world is so unfair! The one who does nothing but gets all the unconditional love!!

I am stuck in colors. But my brothers love the black & whites. I don't know why I prefer a little red & pink in my life! What do you guys think? The B&W or the colored ones?

45/365 DIRT IN THE HAIR

 I have a confession to make...I was an organizer freek, I mean I have still some of that left in me. Sometimes the inner me just want to make 1000s of lists, do 10 things simultaneously & then scratch them out. My dear husband thinks it's a mental disease of some sort & he doesn't let go of any smallest chance of making a joke out of it, as usual. In my free time, that is when the world is asleep ( literally looking at my daughter ) I just find a pen & begin to write a list of some sort. This was my list before we came to Malaysia. We planned to stay for 22 days. So definitely I was pumped up to do & go to at least 22 places....

1. Lomot seabeach - we had already gone to Langkawi, so a new beach was in the list. It was so sunshiny, the water was perfect & Jian loved it like crazy!!

2. Visit a village - we stayed at Kampung Rasa, it was one of those memories that I will always remember. It was open but so clean. The rain, the washed out trees, the large spacious kitchens with big windows, the small fruit gardens, the running chickens...oh everything was just like my dream.

3. Visit some friends - we went to visit some of our relatives & ended staying up for hours with lots of eating & coffees & icecream, just like teenagers.

4. Go to Ikea - I had this hidden dream to take Kamal to Ikea as there is no outlets in Bangladesh. He was really excited & took a lot of pictures.

5. Eat at Ikea - I know you guys are just laughing to tears, but I really wanted to try out their swedish meatball since I saw it on TLC & the pastries were soooo good!

6. Central market - the stalls were nice but everything was pricy. Most of the tourists shop there & you have to haggle a lot.

7. Enjoy Malaysian cooking - we got to cook with native ingredients like sweet beans, cream broccoli & eat fresh riped papaya which Kamal picked from the tree. Here is the instagram!

8. Visit my brother at University of Malaya - his campus is so beautiful at night, Jian & I wondered through everywhere.

9.Batu Caves - today we are going to this majestic Hindu temple, which have 272 steps to a limestone hill & it's 400 million years old!!

10. National Mosque - is in our tomorrow's to-do-list.

11. Genting Highlands- is planned for Saturday, Kamal is excited like a little girl because they have this horror park which I am definitely avoiding & he is certainly going to!

12. Lake Garden- for their awesome Bird Park. Jian is so so excited.

I am sure of this that nobody loves water more than you do. Your face lits up, you can't stop laughing. The sun was so hot & the tides were so strong but nothing could stop you. You ran towards the sea like a sand storm, daddy & me just couldn't stop gushing about you. This became the TOP NEWS of the day.
I want you to be more powerful than the sun, more mysterious than the sea. The way you lit our lives, the way you stand up for your name. You are our strength, you are our star. Don't change even a little, even this tiny bit!

You love giving back massages to your daddy! And he just gets swept away by those. The little lovely friendship you two have, is most of the time so heavenly & it makes me so jealous. I really crave for those. Having a friend, telling them how the day went, getting free massages, oh only if I had such a life!

YOU ALWAYS WONDER IN THESE DREAM LANDS & MAKE ME WONDER "WHAT IS THAT EVIL BRAIN OF YOURS THINKING?" JUST LIKE DADDY. SO MISCHIEVOUS & FULL OF SECRETS!

YOU HAVE SUCH BLACK EYES & SO MUCH LIGHT WITHIN, I CONSTANTLY GET LOST IN THEM. ARE THOSE MY EYES OR YOUR DAD'S?

After a lot of tears & prayers, and my laptop gone dead and my worst luck with wi-fi internets I have this great opportunity to write a post & say to my friends..hey I am not dead or kidnapped, just having a series of bad luck with the computer. Between everything else Jian got hurt twice on the same knee, weakened by a viral flu attack & my husband's silly joke, I am on the verge of murdering my husband. I don't know why but every time something goes wrong with me it's somehow my husband's fault & he would never admit anything. Stay tuned for all of our experiences, both good & bad, our extraordinary journey through Malaysia with bits of my madness for traveling with a messy preschooler & an annoying husband!

As this is our 100th post, we decided that there was no better way to celebrate than to surprise our viewers with the slideshow consisting snaps of our life in the month of January!

MY SLEEPING BEAUTY...Could you be more perfect & make your mommy cry. I might be going crazy here. I look at you & you grow an inch. Where did all the time go? Why do you look so much like your daddy? Our life was so ordinary until you came & turned it into a fairy tale!

After much deliberation, my brother & I made a slideshow project for Jian , documenting all the pictures taken within the month of January. I have no portable hard disc or a large pen drive. So it was very hard while editing & transferring from one computer to the other one because the net was not working in my sister's PC. The pain I had to go through...Will you be able to understand what  I had to do to perform the impossible?

Kamal & Jian carefully looking at the laptop & trying to find out the details on Zoo watching & Amusement parks. I know I am a bad photographer but what could be more precious than capturing the special little bites that fill my busy mornings Or mundane evenings? My little soldiers, working so hard to help mommy!

We have been a little busy here with a lot of bakings for 3 birthdays ( you can find more about them here & here ), my brother's engagement & preparing for our yearly vacation. At last everything is finalized. We are going to Malaysia & staying there for 25 days. We will be visiting every single zoo, amusement parks & run along the whole city like pros. As Jian is a bit older, we don't have to be frightened like we used to. Oh! I am just going to the heaven just thinking about all the freedom & fun I am going to have. No more extra cooking for Jian or traveling with a toddler who doesn't want to let go when you are on full shopping mode. Everywhere we went with Jian, we carried a big rice cooker in case we couldn't find any suitable food for our baby. Now she is big enough to have a kids meal. And I don't even want to go back to thinking about all the extra cloths & that huge heavy diaper bag around my neck, the baby carrier around Kamal's neck.

36/365 BUSY BEE

Pictures do say thousand things at once. I usually don't like editing. But with so much going around you, you are bound to change a little. Your friends saying these things that they don't know about. Like what you should read for exams even though they have never attended any or opinions for you having no job. I love being a stay at home mom. But people around me just don't seem to get my point. My husband says I have become lazy. My brothers think I have grown fat & my friends think....spending time with my little baby is just an excuse for not getting a job. I mean I have no regrets who I am today. I am so happy being a mom. I never felt so beautiful & confident inside. Most of the time I am at peace with what ever life throws at me. Being a mom makes you strong & all carefree about stupid little details. But sometimes they just get to my nerve. Then again when I look at my blog & pictures of my little girl, taken by her lazy fat jobless mom, every little curve ball seems fair enough. So LIFE... BRING IT ON!!

Jian you are so lucky! You got so many cousins as your friends. They influence you so much. You go to places with them & learn so many things. You know how to count to 10. You can even add little things & my heart melts. I know it's a little silly but I day dream about you becoming a scientist or an astronaut. Then you sing these songs with all the wrong lyrics & tone but it's seems so melodious & perfect that I immediately think of you growing as the bestest singer. Suddenly you draw these abstracts & try to say what they mean like one line would be your papa & one comma would be me! It spontaneously convinces me that you are definitely going to be the artist of the century!

Jian you are so different from me, yet we are exactly the same. I had a picture taken before my wedding day, in which I looked exactly the same. So many things go through our mind & we are not afraid to love with our heart. We not only see the world through our eyes but we see the souls. The sun reflects on our dark skin & gets burned! The earth touches our feet & gets shaky. We are the two, the only twos with the whole world in front of us, waiting to be discovered by our passion!

33/365 the devils  by maa

I don't know if it's just me but recently my baby's hyperactivity is taking it's toll on me. I have became so impatient. And my control span is this much ( indicating to one third of my fingers ). Every time I drag her or shout at her she cries & it breaks my heart into pieces. I feel so down. Jian can you ask God to make your mommy anger & scream free? Is that possible during this lifetime? And could you just ask God for your daddy to be more considerate? I know he is the best but could he make him a little bit like me so that I don't feel that guilty or better yet just let him be & change me instead, so that I don't get angry at his silly stupid jokes.

32/365...LOOK MOMMY!!

I am the proudest mom today & you made this happen. There may be thousand of moms who take care of their little babies, but out here things run different. You seem to take care of me, you show me the lights. You are my moon light, you are my garden. I look at you & you just change everything in an instant. You are the cup of creamy coffee that I long for, you are my cherry lip balm, you are my favorite song. But above all you are my destination!