6/365  SHADOWS BY BABA

MY MIRACLE...BY MAA

When I was first diagnosed with hyperthyroidism I never thought I would have someone calling me mommy. My world seemed somewhat ordinary & lonely. I think I never thought of children before my Professor said " Well I think you will need couple of years to get pregnant " & it stroked me in the head, really hard. A life without someone calling you mom, hmmm, a life without laughing & crying, a life without life! If then I knew I would not have Jian, may be I would have died a thousand times. Breathing without My life, My baby, My Jian.

May be it's my hormones talking or may be it's just my sleepless brain, I can't think my life without her. If she does not hold me at night I can't sleep. If I don't get her hair in my nose I can't breathe. Doesn't it's supposed to be the other way around?

I remember one day walking in my hospital corridor, purposeless, then my CA came from nowhere & told me to go to a place. Without asking anything I just followed her. She took me to yoga center & there I was. I found peace somehow, I found strength within myself. 

When I found out about my pregnancy I was so nervous & afraid. I mean I was taking these anti-thyroids which was supposed to be bad for your baby. I didn't take any folic acids for Neural tube defect. Then I had the USG. With utter shock I found that I was 3 months pregnant & taking high doses of toxic drugs. I took my report, went to see my Professor, he looked at me & shouted " It's a miracle". And that's how my miracle was born!!