Jian, you have grown up. I know you are 4 now. But being the big sister has changed you. You don't come to me anymore. It's like you have subconsciously admitted the fact that your little brother needs me more than you do, as if I need to be his mommy right now! When ever there is a question in your mind you go to your dad or your grandma. I miss you, Jian. I really do. You will always be my first love, my baby.