Recently I am going through those days, days filled with rough patches, darkness everywhere. Jian was so so sick. I ran from one hospital to other, looking for answers. She had so much pain but every doctor said it's nothing. Being a mom, constantly looking at your child's sufferings but not being able to do something about it makes it hard. And being a doctor makes it harder!
On top of all these I had a big fight with my husband. Every time we have something between us, it's always had been me trying to solve it, talking about it or praying for it. He is so reluctant about me. Nothing makes him worry & he never says sorry. God forbid...every time I talk to him he makes me feel it's all my fault, we go no where & eventually I let it go & say sorry even though it was him all along!
I am so grateful that Jian is a very playful & active child. She was like that even when she was only a few months old, talking with her eyes, moving her hands & body, making us understand what she was thinking, so eager to engulf the whole world around her. But Now I just can't keep up with her. My exam & all other responsibilities are taking a toll on me.I keep losing things, forgetting important things. I lost our anniversary video, Jian's pictures, our paragliding video... which was mostly my husbands fault, but he refuses it. He also lost the USB cable to our handy cam which, like always, he doesn't accept. Over all blaming me for stuffs!
I have decided not to say sorry this time! Let's see how far he can go without admitting his fault! Guys I really need your help this time. Give me some light so that I can choose a path. It's just killing me inside. Don't ask me to sorry though!
On top of all these I had a big fight with my husband. Every time we have something between us, it's always had been me trying to solve it, talking about it or praying for it. He is so reluctant about me. Nothing makes him worry & he never says sorry. God forbid...every time I talk to him he makes me feel it's all my fault, we go no where & eventually I let it go & say sorry even though it was him all along!
I am so grateful that Jian is a very playful & active child. She was like that even when she was only a few months old, talking with her eyes, moving her hands & body, making us understand what she was thinking, so eager to engulf the whole world around her. But Now I just can't keep up with her. My exam & all other responsibilities are taking a toll on me.I keep losing things, forgetting important things. I lost our anniversary video, Jian's pictures, our paragliding video... which was mostly my husbands fault, but he refuses it. He also lost the USB cable to our handy cam which, like always, he doesn't accept. Over all blaming me for stuffs!
I have decided not to say sorry this time! Let's see how far he can go without admitting his fault! Guys I really need your help this time. Give me some light so that I can choose a path. It's just killing me inside. Don't ask me to sorry though!
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through these hard days. When I am going through hard days I try to remind myself that the sweet wouldn't be as sweet without the sour. It's hard to see that when you're in the thick of it though. I am sending well wishes to Jian & loving wishes to you. My husband and I had a bad fight today, too. Must be something in the air...
ReplyDeletexoxo
Relieved to know I am not the only one fighting with their saint like husband..hehehe!
Deletehmm. its a tough thing to get through. and as time will pass by it might not get easier unless you think some things thoroughly to yourslef from now on. th debate is, if you let it go and say sorry again, you might be sacrificing a bit of your self respect, but in my opinion in situations like these its perhaps the wisest thing to do. If you dont and decide to hold your ground, then ego builds up (or if you have any other tem to describe it better). and thats one of the crushers. as long as you realize that you are right, you dont always need his apology to end the fight. if your action ends the fight, then you are the winner (well again dnt get caught uo in who won and not and all that). so, eventhough it is easy for one to say all this, while it is the most difficult thing to realize when we have fights with our dear ones and we are at the peak of our emotions. having said all that, it is still something of a concern if he is not willing to accept it when he is wrong. most of us have this thing in us (which again i thing is ego), more or less. and it is more powerful t times like this. you will have to take it slow with him. dont expect him to apologize all of a sudden, when he has not been doing it al this time. end the fight now. then later on, when things are all jolly with you guys, try and speak to him with love and affection (dont overdo it, he might get suspisious), and talking nicely try if you can get him to at least acknowledge him being wrong in the previous instance. if you see any sign of him feeling uncomfortable with the conversation, abort the mission, as that ight be leading to another argument. if not, then move slowly agian, and talk to him openly. tell him, maybe you are wrong maybe i am, but tel him that what you expect from him, that at times like this, you sometimes expect him to say sorry to you, even if he is right. tell him that you feel bad. give it a try. wish all the best for you guys.... one more thing, i know sometimes we feel so passionately about these thigns, but if something is lost, let it go, trying to make it clear who lost it wont make things better. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks friend..you are truly amazing with all your super supportive advice. I am definitely going to try them..please provide your name next time so that I can thank you properly! Really thank you Anonymous friend!
DeleteI hope all turns around soon. Sometimes we need to hit the bottom to build up. I too have been fighting with my husband more than normal. I'm really ashamed! But being a mother, a wife, a person and all those other things is SO hard!
ReplyDeleteYes it's hard, but we try our best..right. Thanks Suzy! Not only for being there but making me feel good about myself!
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