me and my baby

Do you really need to now what was going on behind the lenses??

Our mornings are so quite & restless at the same time. Kamal's mobile starts ringing like crazy from nine & my morning sickness kicks in after a few minutes. I try to stay in the bed as late as I can & squeeze in some meditation. Because as soon as I get up I ran to the washroom & all the sound wakes up Jian. But I still love it because as soon as her eyes open....she says good morning & thanks to God with a big smile. And if she still wants to sleep she would say something like "God I shall say thanks when I am ready to wake up!"

Sometimes you make us so confused. Where do you learn all those silly grown up things to say. And some of the things are so wonderful that your daddy & I choke to death in laughter & surprise. You were running away from all the pigeons while all the other children were taking pictures with them, feeding them from their little palms. And suddenly you shrugged like an old lady & muttered...What if they poop on me? There is pigeon poo everywhere! Can't you see daddy?

Jian saw this big cup & burst out in joy. Her exact words were..look mom we are on the wonderland, let's drink from it & get big! I just couldn't say pass to this one. Sometimes it doesn't matter if I break my own rules. Does the no. 84 have to be the real 84? Bear with me friends. The pain will be severe but the fruits in the end would be sweeter. I promise ;)

One of our close friends suddenly decided to join us for dinner & meet me after a long time. I couldn't go, see their baby boy & they wanted to congratulate me for the pregnancy. Due to my no spending rule...this was the best that could have been done with the things that I had in store.
Most of the things came as our wedding gifts. The pitcher was bought 6 years ago by us, with all the necessary things of home supply, candle stands & candles are from Ikea. Guess where did the table mat came from? ( My old scarf which I washed & sewed the borders together.)
Who could have thought....sometimes less money makes you more creative! At least in my case!
And sorry guys...Jian was so restless that I couldn't take a single good shot. It was so peaceful taking the cup shots. At least the glasses weren't moving!

So at last, I was able to force my dear husband to go to the Pavilion, one the biggest branded mall in Malaysia.And there we came across Victoria's secret. The boys..my brother & Kamal was more excited than Jian & me.Their ridiculously high price made me choke but the boys wouldn't let me leave the store without buying anything. Too bad they don't have a mens' line!

This the boat motel we came across the hot water spring near Rasa in Malaysia. Jian was mesmerized not by the view, but by their ship like structures. She was asking the receptionist if the house moved to places & could take her to the market. I couldn't keep her still for a photo. This was the best I could find, all the other ones were fuzzy.
Rent was 100 to 120 ringit  (30 - 35 USD) per night, breakfast not included. But their in-house restaurant was cheap & the food was delicious. Both local ethnic & fast foods were available! We didn't know about the motel, so just took a bag with swimming gear. Or else we would have stayed there. My husband & his friend was making jokes about  their special honey-moon packages & told me that I wouldn't have fun there staying with a restless toddler...Men!!

Sometimes we need a hard push or a bang on the head. One of my friends, was found dead, instantly on a road accident. She could be the next best doctor but she didn't get any treatment even. Come to think if it, does it even matter! I mean to say is that when you die what really happens behind the curtains? You see your life flash by or you just miss your daughter? Having all the degrees in the world, postponing your life all along, reading & learning about all the knowledge there is... will these things eventually let me die in peace? Will it not make me miss my angel's little puckers or my husband's smile? What do I really need or want from this life time?

It's so hard to get a sane picture some days....but then again, the definition of sanity really needs to be changed in motherhood...right guys!!
Don't mind the cookie crumbs on the little nose tips!!

I am a dreamer, always has been. Despite of what every one says, I just go out there & do it again & again. Take my 365 photography project. On top of that a ghost came over me & then I decided to do another 365 project of not buying things. So absurd..right. No wait! Did I tell you I was also carrying a little Jian inside me, for whom I had so many expectations. But as usual I am just passing my days without being insane.
I moved to a new home. Dreaming & expecting too much from life. So I just fell flat..and you know on what. I started this blog with so much love & dream. But everything in this world went against me & took my strength. But they don't know one thing about me. I am just like my dad. I am like a bull. I see the red & I fight & fight till I can't move.

To me being a mother is the most awesome feeling there is. And then getting a surprise from your family..nothing could beat this. I mean look at the flower, the dishes, the planning & all...Jian is always so much into activities. I mean there is no stopping to this girl. And on the mother's day she was so excited about everything. She even gave flowers to all the mothers of my family.



 When I was pregnant with Jian I used to judge myself. I took up meditation as a way to improve myself. I even used to daydream about my little princess & the things I am going to do with her. But most of the people around me banged me on my head & said " Having a kid will change everything for worse." Nobody told me to take up my time & enjoy every bit while it lasts. Because you never know when your precious would be 4 & you will be like where did all the silly time go? So this time around I know better. I am enjoying the morning sickness or even the unended torture that I am wilingly giving my husband with my constant mood swings & food cravings!!HSSS! Don't tell him I said that.

THE BULL DOG ON 74/365

Good news. At last my new computer is working, which I brought in Malaysia. Some how my dear husband got it killed & everybody was saying it can't be fixed. The battery is not working & I have to plug it to a electric source but sill I am so happy. Doing the projects really kept me focused but without it. I just felt so unbalanced.
Now for the other new news... I am on the 15th week, my nausea is killing me & Jian is torturing me with new hyperness. One minute she is here, the next minute she is inside the cupboard. No body has been more happier than her. Because she got to play with all the unpacked moving goods & dust!!

MESSY HAIR ON 73/365

Somehow I managed to stick around upto 72 of 365 project. Then I lost the love & will of fighting. I took a photo of Jian everyday but was unable to post. I was thinking of posting 2 video diaries for March & April. Then may be post 3 or 4 pictures per day for May. What do you guys think? I really need some suggestions! Help me guys!